Trying to act as a big brother can be really tough, when you have an obnoxious little bloke, snarling fumes of fury, right at your toes, wanting to break away from the shackles of subordination...
Confused? Well, for those who felt that I had made a complete mess out of the first line, lemme tell you that I actually haven't.
I have a small brother. Big Deal.
The fact that he hates me is an even bigger deal.
Well, things can be surprising when you know what runs in the mind of a human living the worst part of his life. When he is no longer a kid, and not yet an adolescent.
Thank god, kids don't play Baseball in India. I can already imagine my sibling, wearing a nasty smile with a lopsided baseball cap, coming to hurl the baseball to try and kill me during my sleep, when I'm having sweet dreams about my girlfriend.
I puke everytime when I think about this, but whoever told the shit about first-borns getting a lot of "RESPECT" in the family??? First person in my hit list would be him, no doubt. We live like Alligators people!!! Have you once seen them stand on their toes??? Thanks to the species, "HOMO YOUNGERALIS" (forget that, people.....Ive just coined that right now....its just a 'two-minute' old word).
I once peeped into my brother's diary and I shrank back. Not even 'Exhausist' could have scared me more. In it was written in a careless writing, done cruelly by stubby fingers, on how to make me feel at hell!
I Couldn't believe it.The rate at which he was going, he is sure to be publishing a Handbook.
I shake my head in attitude, and he breaks down laughing. Says its insanity.
I sing my heart out, and he breaks down crying. Says its an overdose of a sonic poison.
I plug the walkman into my ears and he pulls them out. Throws a tantrum and says, "Mummy! thats my favourite song!". He wins again.
He bugs my bathroom and says, my friends would catch a glimpse of my bath, if I'm rude to him. GOD SAVE ME!!!
He flirts with my girlfriend when I'm not home, thanks to the auto remember password in Messenger. Sometimes, he adds salt to the injury when we're on a fight. Plays a rotten double game to turn her againsty me for the time being.
How can the mental maturity of kids scale new heights? When he's as smart as me, and 5 years younger to me, how will he be five years down the line?
My Physics record does a somersault, or the Chemistry record does a backflip, when he is at his worst. Flying pillows and outstreetched bedspreads, SIMless cellphone and Gripless cricket bat, are some of the modellings done by the little master of my house.
Modern Art. Aint it?
My math textbook would be lying right now, in some Onyx bin, thanks to the wierdo, who brought it down to tatters.
I've had enough.
Time to get even stevens with him.
I'm going to think of a way, to get back on this urchin who is becoming a pain in the....
Wait a minute!
He's changed my Blogspot password!
I am so not able to sign in....NOOOOOO!!!!!
- Yours 'Bigbrotherfully'
Rajaram.
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