A Heartbreaking Jump

Trrrring!

I stirred a little.

Trring!

I shuffled for sometime and put the pillow on my ear.

TRRRRING!!!

The Alarm clock was trying its best to wake me up from my 5 hour sleep, and it had eventually succeded.

I pushed my bedcovers aside to exit the bedroom. Mum was waiting in the hall, along with a smart man, in his early-thirties, about 5 years older than me, who was wearing a uniform with a cap.

"Good Morning Ma.", I half yawned.

"Varun, the twin bed has just been delivered. We were waiting for you to get up so that we could shift this to your bedroom.", she smiled.

I smiled to myself. The single bed would no longer occupy my room and invite me to sleep. Instead, I was to have a bigger bed with another companion with me, who was to come in shortly, in my life. My gaze slowly shifted to the table and was fixed on the multitude of colours that splashed itself all over the table. The colourful invitations of my marriage were scattered throughout the table, waiting to be addressed.

But there was one person to who I had to give the first invitation. My soulmate. My brother. My twin. Tarun. Thinking of him sent a pang of pain and a wave of emotions that rattled my heart.


Me(Varun) and Tarun were twins, who were almost a jack of all things. Popularly called as the Whiz Kids in school, we excelled in almost every endeavour we set foot together in. After passing school with flying colours, we set foot into college, with an international trip awaiting us, two years later.

Though I knew all twins looked alike, we virtually broke all the records of being similar. It became difficult for even our relatives to distinguish us, when we wore the same shirts and stood next to each other. When people saw two boys with a tall frame, broad shoulders, prominent nose with a fleshy lip, and the swept back hair that demanded recogonition, they were baffled as to who was who.

Leave alone looks, we were strikingly similar in character too, a feature which is often not found in twins. Both of us liked black, had a liking for football, loved Paneer Butter Masala, along with our fascination towards the same kind of books and lucky numbers.

The story did not change much in college, when we easily became the most popular duo of the campus in less than a year. Sarika, who was Tarun's best friend and my...er....whatever, knew almost everything about us, except for the fact that I loved her.

I was suddenly jerked back to the present. I took up the invitation in my hands.

Varun

Weds

Sarika

On the front I wrote, "To my dear Tarun.". The innumerable days we had spent together in the same bedroom and the laughs we shared together along with the fights, problems and the solutions we searched together flashed on and off...

On and Off... On and Off... On and Off...

"Varun! Stop Switching the bathroom light on and off!" shouted mum, as I realised I was turning the switch again and again.

"Oops. Sorry Ma. By the way, ask Pa to get ready soon. Lets invite Tarun today."

Her face changed. She nodded subtly and turned to exit the bathroom.

The cool water of the shower was piercing me like pincers on my raw chest, soothing them. But no water, nor potion in this world could smother the pain inside the chest, that was to live forever.

Tarun and I had been selected for a trip to Australia to represent our college, along with Sarika. Deciding to have a great time in the Island Continent, we equipped ourselves with fully charged batteries for cameras and iPods, and loads of books to occupy us.

Tarun and Sarika were discussing something in hushed whispers and when I tried to indulge myself, they stopped at once. My good mood overshadowed my urge to know what they were talking, as I pulled my backpack on my shoulders, and dragged my suitcase along the polished floor of the Chennai Airport. After waving a hearty goodbye to our parents, we boarded the flight.

Tarun had to sit with another person in the flight, as Sarika and I had the two seater to ourselves. I noticed Sarika gazing at the multitude of shapes that the clouds assumed. I then looked at Sarika. Her sliding hair... The charming touch... Full of charisma and intelligence, She was the ideal match for me. But the question was, did she love me too?

My gaze was disrupted by a pleasant hostess, who served us drinks and juices, as we prepared ourselves to sleep. The next day, we had ended up with my head on her shoulder and hers on mine.

Australia was awesome. The beaches literally took our breaths while the sprawling expanse of green, sandwiched by the occasional stretches of the pleasant countryside, to be bordered by the treacherous desert, reminded us partially of India, considering the awesmoe variety of geographical features.

The Conference was a totally new experience, partially because it gave us an insight as to how, teenagers across the globe looked at things, and we realised that teenagers all over the world, may it be an Indian, American, Australian, South African or a Japanese, were all the same. We absolutely had a great time enjoying and mingling with our fellowmates at the place.

Meanwhile, I switched off the shower to break the train of thoughts in my mind, and wrapped the towel around myself. My phone had been ringing for a long time and it was Sarika.

"Hey Sarika. I am inviting Tarun today."

"That is why I called you Varun. I'm coming there directly from my place, so I'll meet you there.", she replied.

I revved up the engine of my Swift, and leaned on the steering wheel. It had been a long time since I had last met him. I noticed my parents entering the car. I then maneuvered the car through the 'crisscross'ly arranged cars in the car park and drove out of our apartment.

After finishing our conference, we thought of Bungee Jumping, on the day before our return to India. Again I noticed Tarun and Sarika talking to each other. This time I couldn't restrain myself.

"Sarika, Whats this thing that you both have been talking all the way from India?"

And her reply was short, frank, blunt and crisp.

"Nothing Varun. Tarun just told me that you loved me and I told him that I'm in love with you too."

Nothing, absolutely nothing in the world could have replaced that golden moment and the tingling sensation inside the laybrinths of my heart, when I realised that the love of my life had reciprocated my feeling towards her. I ran towards her and hugged her so hard that she was lifted off the ground. I ran my hand over her tender cheeks and whispered to her,

"I love you Sarika."

"I Love you too Varun.", she replied, with a fire in her eye.

We finally reached the spot, a cliff, stop which we were waiting for our chance to jump. Tarun was the first to go. Before jumping, He smiled at me. The last smile which I was to get from him. He signalled me towards Sarika, who was standing alone. I inferred that he wanted me to spend some time alone with her.

And He jumped.

Never to come back.

He bounced on the rope for a couple of times, and then sank dangerously low. What I saw below, was enough to haunt me for the rest of my life. Tarun had collapsed on the canopy of the treacherous trees which layered the laybrinth of the cliff. The rope had given way.

"NOOOO! TARUNN!", I screamed. In my grief, I had lost sense. I dashed for the cliff to jump off it.

"NO VARUN! I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU TOO!", cried Sarika, and held me back.

But things were not bad after all. Tarun was found. Found alive. But just. He was scarred badly and he had a major hurt on the back of his head, treacherously close to his spine, that rendered him mentally retarded.

The return flight to India was the worst 15 hours of my life ever.

Whenever I turned to see Tarun, he just stared at the roof of the flight with a blank expression on his face, and no depth in his eyes. I realised that the dynamic duo had broken that day. What should have always been "WE", now had reduced to "ME".

I finally braked near a pleasantly painted building in Pink, the car tyres, screeching due to the contact with gravel. I looked up to behold the signboard.

"Darshan's Home for the Mentally Retarded"

The receptionist held out a registrar in which we signed our names. We entered Tarun's room. Sarika was already waiting. I looked down and saw Tarun.

Not even Seven long years of loneliness had brought a change on Tarun. He was the same, with an air of careless beauty hovering around him. The long hair and the unkept beard reminded me of the contrasting Teenager who was my Twin.

"Here Tarun, Me and Sarika are going to get married. You will be the chief guest for our reception. All right? And remember? You were the one who joined us together. In Austra...",

I couldn't continue.

I utterly broke down on Sarika's shoulders, unable to justify God's sadistic game, played on Tarun's life. How could one be so cruel so as to break a brand new shining mirror even before it was half used?

Sarika seemed to have felt what I was feeling right then. She replied,

"Varun, we cannot blame God for what happenes to us. Its Fate. Fate that so wickedly plays with our life, pushing us deeply into the bowels of sorrow, or elevating a man-of-nothing to the heights of stardom or greatness. We need to be thankful to God for the fact that Tarun survived such a big accident and is still here with us. I surely have an inside feeling that Tarun will be back to normal someday or the other. Mental injuries can have surprising remedies. I trust God."

Something in her, made sense. Infact, not something, everything made sense. Deeply wishing for Tarun to recover, I walked up to him to hug him whole heartedly.

I felt Tarun returning my hug.

That by itself was a beginning. Trying to console myself partially, I turned to exit the Home, and get on with the astronomical list of friends and relatives to whom I had to invite for my marriage.

Love you Tarun.